Vex King in conversation about self-help, positivity and mental health

"Self-love writer” Vex King already has a stellar track record as he moves to Bluebird, with new books forthcoming in December and February 2023. With 1.2 million followers on Instagram, his two previous books, Good Vibes Good Life: How Self-Love is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness and Healing is the New High: A Guide to Overcoming Emotional Turmoil and Finding Freedom—both published by Hay House—have notched up total sales of almost a million copies in the UK alone. Jay Shetty, Millie Bobby Brown and Jesse Lingard are among the many celebrities who have been photographed holding one of his books or who have cited him as an influence.

It’s a remarkable trajectory for a man who had such a traumatic start in life, experiencing poverty, loss, racism and violence at a very young age. Aged 35 and of Indian heritage, he lost his father when he was only six months old, a cataclysmic event which left his family—his mother and two elder sisters—destitute and with no fixed abode. Eventually they were given a council house, and when he speaks to me via video call from Northampton, the town where he grew up and still lives, King says that he clearly remembers the initial feeling of achievement that this represented. “What I didn’t realise was that everyone around us didn’t want us there. That feeling of, ‘You don’t belong here because you don’t look like us’.”

That led me to try and find a more genuine way to positivity, and that’s where my journey to self-love started

Life at that time was about little more than survival. But then gradually, as King gained greater self-awareness in his teenage years, he began to visualise a different kind of existence. “I was looking at the media and seeing all these sportspeople and celebrities who had come from very little, and that got me thinking that there had to be better out there for me. If they could make something of their lives, maybe I could too.”

King realised that what his favourite sportspeople had in common was a positive mindset. “I noticed that a lot of them had been inspired by books. Then, being a really big martial arts enthusiast, I found out on an internet forum that the book that had changed Bruce Lee’s life was Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I wasn’t really an avid reader at that point but I got hold of a copy... by illegal means because I didn’t have the money to buy one. If it makes anyone feel better, I got it through LimeWire, which came with a million viruses as well!”, he laughs.

King of the Hill

Reading Hill’s book marked the start of King’s self-help journey, kindling optimism about what his future might hold and the notion that he needed a positive mindset to create a positive life. Over the following years he gained a place at university, and afterwards a corporate job, reading hundreds of self-help and spirituality books along the way. But a turning point in his thinking about positivity came in his early twenties, when a period of severe depression—“the darkest place I’ve ever been”—led to a suicide attempt. Surviving this led him to recognise that positive thinking alone would never be enough if he also continued to suppress the pain of his early experiences. “And that led me to try and find a more genuine way to positivity, and that’s where my journey to self-love started.”

I left a lot behind to live this authentic path and material things don’t drive me

Fast-forward a few years, and the more holistic and spiritual approach that King adopted from that time onwards, coupled with his “burning desire” to help others find the same peace, joy and fulfilment, gained him an ever-increasing social media following for his daily doses of inspiration and affirmation. Yet his journey to publishing success was relatively slow burn. When Good Vibes Good Life came out in 2018, King’s social following was around the 100,000 mark and sales were steady but not stratospheric. Then gradually he began to notice that celebrities were starting to pick up and praise the book. “Some of them were people I’d never heard of, if I’m honest—reality TV stars, models, actors—but it was really cool. Since then I’ve had an ambition to reach more and more people.” This ambition led to him signing with Bluebird.

His move to the publisher that brought us Joe Wicks and Pinch of Nom isn’t, he tells me, just about pushing up his sales figures. “I left a lot behind to live this authentic path and material things don’t drive me. For me it’s about actually reaching people with something that will enhance their lives. When I met Carole [Tonkinson, Bluebird publisher], I was really drawn to her energy. She listened to my vision—she didn’t try to sell me a dream. She just said: ‘I get this.’ And the team around her are so full of life too. I just know they’ll support me as a writer”.

I wanted to provide my own perspective on how we can create balance within our relationships

In turn, when asked what drew her to sign King up, Tonkinson cites his “deep insight, lived experience and unfailingly kind peer-to-peer approach. Vex speaks to his readers on the level, he doesn’t talk down to anyone and he never uses obscure language: he’s a master communicator. He is positive without being a Pollyanna, and his intention is palpably pure. Crucially, like all of the most successful authors I have ever published, he listens to the responses of his readership.”

A new chapter

In December comes King’s first book with his new publisher, The Greatest Self-Help Book (is the One Written By You). It’s a journal—a more than averagely engaging journal—full of practical activities, exercises and visual prompts to help readers practise meaningful mindfulness. King has created it in partnership with his wife, Kaushal Modha, who has her own substantial social media following of three million, garnered as one of UK’s most-followed Asian beauty influencers. “We wanted to create something that would be simple enough to fill out, but that at the same time would also offer immense value,” says King.

Then, publishing on 13th February 2023, to coincide with Self-Love Day, comes a solo book: Closer to Love: Transforming Your Relationships from the Inside Out. It’s a practical guide to creating lasting connections in which King aims to provide positive steps to mastering self-love and to loving authentically. “In my Instagram DMs, nearly every question I get is around relationships. I wanted to provide my own perspective on how we can create balance within our relationships, and also how we can choose relationships based on our own self-knowing and on having trust within ourselves. I truly believe that if you’re secure within yourself, you’ll have healthier expectations of the person you’re in a relationship with.”