Here's to the cheerleaders

Some days things as innocuous as losing the top of my favourite pen or forgetting to attach a PDF to an email before I send it has the potential to send me spiralling into an existential crisis. On days like this, being (lovingly) forced out for a walk at lunch time, made a hot chocolate with the fancy machine or simply being told I am not terrible at my job can give me the boost needed to get through the rest of the day. 

At a time where our personal value and professional worth feels at odds with what we are taking home, Covid-19 seems to be trying to make a comeback, and getting a takeaway feels like an overspend of Becky Bloomwood-level proportions, worries can become a constant, preoccupying, buzz which drones on, draining and diverting energy from getting work done. Being surrounded by support — and if you’ll allow me a moment to be totally cheesy — friendship and love has kept me going and made that buzz just a little bit quieter. Made the mental load just a little bit lighter. Having colleagues who are supportive, caring, and friendly makes a huge difference – especially in insurmountable situations. 

This piece could be entirely about the people I work with now, who are all excellent, kind and considerate, but it would be remiss of me not to say that is also the love letter I have always wanted to write to my ex-colleagues who sat on the pod with me. People who are far brighter and sensitive than I have words to describe, and who I am incredibly lucky to be able to call my friends. Though we don’t all work together anymore, they are the first people I want to call when I sell a book, who routinely remind me they have my back when things go wrong and, above all, still listen to me when I need to rant about how much I hate Peppa Pig. In the before times, I would see people I worked with more than my family, and so we learned to read each other. Seeing when someone needed something super sweet from treat corner or a long walk at lunch time. Giving a hard nudge in the ribs to ensure they took their lunch break and didn’t stay too late, or a reassuring eye roll in solidarity when the printer packs up – again. 

Try passing on one unprovoked positive piece of feedback to someone in your company next time you interact with them – your assistant, your IT person, the cleaner – and then do it again the day after, and after until it is imbedded in your working practices

I remember the first time I messed up an appointment in the diary as an agent’s assistant. A clash, the worst kind of diary error. Luckily, it was caught early enough to be rectified with no harm done but it didn’t stop the hot lick of shame creeping up my neck. I wanted to dive into a hole and never emerge. The person I sat next to quoted a painfully accurate meme which made me laugh until I was genuinely crying, the person who sat opposite me reeled off the times they had done something similar, and someone across the room brought me a stack of biscuits from treat corner. They all in their own ways showed me that I was more than my mistakes, that I could always do better next time and that they would support me through the good and the bad. 

I have been extremely lucky to have always had supportive colleagues at my level in an area of the industry which can be so individualistic. Being an agent or an assistant to an agent is like being a sponge: absorbing everything. Soaking in news – good and bad, then working out how to break it, strategise and react, as all good sponges do. The problem is though, when you feel completely and utterly oversaturated, it is difficult to know where to put all of that water – I majorly overextended the metaphor there but my point stands. Working with people who make you feel appreciated, supported and like they are in complete solidarity with you makes it easier to keep on sponging.

I’ve spoken openly before about burnout, and how it can creep up on you even in the dreamiest of dream jobs, especially in agenting which can be a bit of a roller-coaster. It is why I make it a priority to notice what others are doing right and tell them or their managers. I have noticed it makes a huge difference, it can boost confidence, make them smile and crucially, highlight someone’s worth to their superiors. If you take one thing from this long, rambling piece I want it to be that passing on specific pieces of praise, or just supporting people you work with can make a huge difference to their day. Try passing on one unprovoked positive piece of feedback to someone in your company next time you interact with them – your assistant, your IT person, the cleaner – and then do it again the day after, and after until it is imbedded in your working practices. I promise you won’t regret it. 

Though it is no substitute for fair pay and good working conditions, feeling genuinely appreciated lifts people up. At the most basic level, it makes us feel safe, secure, and valued which is what frees us to do our best work. It’s also invigorating. So why is it that despite being in an industry that prides itself on niceness, openly praising or expressing appreciation at work can seem awkward, artificial and even insincere? 

Well, firstly, an obvious answer is that British culture does not lend itself to open expressions of any kind of emotion. We are not fluent in the language of positive emotions in the workplace and often the signs of doing a good job are that it goes unnoticed – especially in more junior roles. 

Secondly, and more sadly, we are often more experienced at expressing negative emotions — reactively and defensively – and this can result in quite unfortunate situations where someone’s contribution to work is not recognised until it is negative. 

Whatever else each of us gets from our work, whatever reason it is that drives us to do this job in this industry, there is possibly nothing more precious than the feeling that we truly matter — that we contribute unique value to the companies we work for as whole, and that we’re recognised for it.