Hating the happily-ever-after

Clichés and young adult (YA) fiction go together like Valentine's Day and crushing disappointment.

Search most of these books and you’ll inevitably find fiery passion, grand gestures of adoration and bad boys turning good – all gift-wrapped with a happily-ever-after.

The odd cliché here and there is harmless, and sometimes you want to curl up with a love story where you know exactly what you're getting. But my concern is that we're so used to this fantastical fairytale of what we're told love is, that it could be impacting young people's real-life relationships.

My debut YA novel, Soulmates, is a homage to the best romantic clichés...before it rugby tackles them to the ground to think hard about what they've done. But in the process of writing it, I realised some clichés are annoyingly true, whereas others are downright unhelpful...

So which is which?

1) The pretty girl who doesn’t realise she’s pretty

"I can't believe you don't realise how beautiful you are," sexy-boy-from-school told her.

She blushed. "Don't be stupid. I'm disgusting, whereas you're so fit. What do you see in me?"

There’s a simple truth in it. Most teenage girls are absolute stunners, but they’re also insecure as hell about their looks. It’s part of growing up…learning that, no, your face doesn’t resemble a baboon’s sneeze.

I have a photo album from teenagehood where I literally scribbled over every photo of my face because I hated how I looked so much. But, now, looking back on it, I’m like: “Honestly, girl, you had it going ON” (but in a twee Surrey accent).

Discovering that a) you're quite alright really, and b) there's more to life (and love) than what you look like, is an important lesson but it can take a while to get there.

Verdict – Annoyingly true 

2) Our love, it is FORBIDDEN

Where is the YA book where two characters meet, say, ‘I quite like you I do’, snog, then have a lovely time enjoying each other’s company? I’ll tell you where: sitting unpublished in someone’s drawer somewhere because nobody would want to read that story.

The path to true love – narratively at least – is not allowed to be smooth. It has to be littered with disapproving parents, High School social hierarchies, the rules of being undead, or, quite simply – that they don’t like you back at first.

But finding someone to love you shouldn’t be tough. It shouldn’t be emotionally fraught – leaving you a husk of a person, sobbing on the moors. That isn’t healthy! Nor is it healthy to have a perfectly lovely relationship which you feel utterly bored by because there isn’t a huge dramatic narrative. Save it for the fiction shelves, but let’s, please, not try to replicate DOOM in our IRL love stories.

Verdict – Downright unhelpful

3) Love triangles

Ahh – that old beauty. I love you, but I also love YOU.

This is yet another thing that does actually happen at lot. Teens have raging hormones. Shove them into a house party or boarding school, and crushes will develop on multiple people. That is science, that is, not just narrative device.

The unhelpful part of this cliché is how the two (usually male) sides (or 'teams') of the triangle are represented: The-One-They-Really-Ruddy-Fancy-But-Feel-Awkward-And-Self-Conscious-Around, and The-One-They-Can-Talk-To-But-They-Don’t-Quite-Feel-Like-That-About.

Why – imaginary female characters – can’t you fancy the nice guy you can talk to? The one who makes you feel comfortable inside?

Verdict – Annoyingly true

4) Happily-ever-afters

Romances are often defined by having an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending. In short, you’ve got to run off into the sunset in order to be considered ‘romantic’. But much as we adore our happy endings, real love often doesn’t work that way. Long-term relationships are day after day after day of compromise and work and renegotiation. Yes you have emotionally satisfying moments, yes you get optimistic days, but you also get a bit bored of each other sometimes.

By ending the book right at the beginning of a YA relationship, teen readers don’t get to see the warts-and-all aspects of love, which are actually really important.

Verdict – Downright unhelpful

And now some quick ones:

The bad boy who turns good – Downright unhelpful

Sorry to break this to you, but they usually stay bad. Love cannot unmaketh a butthead.

Mind-blowing first-time sex – Downright unhelpful

More like clumsy awkward teeth-bashing with an underlying hint of crushed expectations. Anastasia Steele, I’m giving you the literary stink eye. And you Bella, with your and Edward's forest cabin of unrealistic post-marriage lust.

New Years Eve/Prom being the culmination of happiness, love and joy – Downright unhelpful

Where is the YA book where they spend New Year’s sharing cider in a car-park and then crying because their mate got off with the guy they fancied? Who EVER had a good time at prom? Let alone a date?

Which YA romantic clichés do you think are realistic? Or just plain unhelpful? Comment below or tweet me @holly_bourneYA and the hashtag #SoulmatesBook.

Soulmates by Holly Bourne is published by Usborne. For more information and to read the first chapter, visit www.soulmates-book.com