The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic: extract

Chapter One

OK. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. It’s only a VISA bill. It’s a piece of paper; a few numbers. I mean, just how scary can a few numbers be?

I stare out of the office window at a bus driving down Oxford Street, willing myself to open the white envelope sitting on my cluttered desk. It’s only a piece of paper, I tell myself for the thousandth time. And I’m not stupid, am I? I know exactly how much this VISA bill will be.

Sort of. Roughly.

It’ll be about… £200. Three hundred, maybe. Yes, maybe three hundred. Three-fifty, max.

I causally close my eyes and start to tot up. There was that suit in Jigsaw. And there was dinner with Suze at Quaglino’s. And there was that gorgeous red and yellow rug. That rug was worth £200, come to think of it. But it was definitely worth every penny – everyone’s admired it. Or, at least, Suze has.

And the Jigsaw suit was on sale – 30 per cent off. So that was actually saving money.

I open my eyes and reach for the bill. As my fingers hit the paper I remember new contact lenses. Ninety-five pounds. Quite a lot. But, I mean, I had to get those, didn’t I? What am I supposed to do, walk around in a blur?

And I had to buy some new solutions and a cute case and some hypo-allergenic eyeliner. So that takes it up to… four hundred?

And the desk next door to mine, Clare Edwards looks up from her post. She’s sorting all her letters into neat piles, just like she does every morning. She puts rubber bands around them and puts labels on them saying things like, ‘Answer immediately’ and ‘Not urgent but respond’. I loathe Clare Edwards.

‘OK, Becky?’ she says.

‘Fine,’ I say lightly. ‘Just reading a letter.’

I reach gaily into the envelope, but my fingers don’t quite pull out the bill. They remain clutched around it while my mind is seized – as it is every month – by my secret dream.

Do you want to know about my secret dream? It’s based on a story I once read in the newspaper about a mix-up at a bank. I loved this story so much, I cut it out and stuck it onto my wardrobe door. Two credit card bills were sent to the wrong people, and – get this – each person paid the wrong bill without realising. They paid off each other’s bills without even checking them.

And ever since I read that story, my secret dream has been that the same thing will happen to me.

Extract taken from The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella for World Book Night.